


Doctor, doctor, give me the news

by DrunkGerbil



Category: The Grand Tour (TV) RPF, Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Hospital, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Humor, Jealous Jeremy, Medical Doctor James May, Medical Doctor Jeremy Clarkson, Nurse Richard Hammond, but only mildly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:54:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26441539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrunkGerbil/pseuds/DrunkGerbil
Summary: A new cardiologist just started at Jeremy's hospital. Jeremy isn't worriedat allthat his favorite nurse apparently has shared history with him. Richard schemes.
Relationships: Jeremy Clarkson/Richard Hammond, Jeremy Clarkson/Richard Hammond/James May, Richard Hammond/James May
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	Doctor, doctor, give me the news

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the CHMS 2020 AU-Challenge on DreamWidth for the prompt "Doctors and nurses AU"

Jeremy just closed the door to his last patient's room before lunch break, when his favorite nurse appeared out of thin air, asking, “Did you meet him yet?”  
Jeremy nearly jumped out of his skin. 

“Don’t do that!” he groused, only just holding back from whacking Hammond over the head with the flip chart. True to form, Hammond ignored his complaints and went on as if he hadn’t heard. 

“The new cardiologist, have you met him yet?” There was a worrying gleam in his eyes. 

“Yes,” Jeremy said carefully, starting to walk down the corridor in long steps that had Hammond jogging to keep up. 

“What do you think?” Hammond asked. That gleam could mean everything, be it some sweet loving in Jeremy’s near future or a surprise patient with something terrible up their bottom.

“Seemed a bit boring, why?”

“Oh, well. At first glance, he does appear a bit beige. But believe me, boring really isn’t a word I’d use to describe him, if you know what I mean.” 

Hammond delivered that line with an eyebrow waggle that Jeremy hated to admit worked on him every single time. He was so distracted that it took a second for the actual words to register. He also nearly walked into the elevator door. Once savely inside, he mashed the button for the cafeteria and said, unbelieving, “No way. He’s been here half a day, not even you could get in his pants this fast!” He also tried to push down the little spike of jealousy that threatened to sneak into his tone.

“I managed with you, didn’t I?” Hammond purred, leaning in just enough for Jeremy to mirror the gesture and bend down slightly. Their faces were just a hand’s breadth apart, and yeah, okay, Jeremy knew that happy sparkle in Hammond’s ridiculous eyes that promised all kinds of unsavoury things once their shifts were over, no matter what brilliant new cardiologists were walking these sacred halls. The elevator door opened with a ping and a worrying screech, and the two of them jumped apart guiltily. In the cafeteria, they got in line.

“You are right, though,” Hammond continued. “I know him from the hospital I learned at. He taught the med students.”

Jeremy started to laugh. 

“Seriously? You slept with one of the teachers?”

“He wasn’t one of my teachers,” Hammond argued, annoyed, but a smirk soon broke through. “I did learn some things, though,” he added with a dreamy sigh. 

“Tart,” Jeremy said fondly, and when he turned with his full tray he nearly walked into the new cardiologist. 

“Doctor Clarkson,” came the even greeting. 

“Doctor May,” Jeremy returned with a nod. Hammond slipped from behind his back, and Jeremy could see the recognition in May’s eyes. A surprised smile lit up his face. 

“Richard Hammond?”

“James! What a surprise!” Hammond lied delightedly. “It’s been ages, why don’t you sit with Jeremy and me? We can catch up a little.”

May eyed them dubiously, but agreed readily enough. Jeremy could understand, it was virtually impossible not to be swept along by their enthusiastic head nurse. 

At the end of lunch break and Hammond’s interrogation, Jeremy knew that James May was the most interesting boring person he had ever met, and single. Not for long, though, if the dinner party on friday at Jeremy’s place Hammond had invited May and himself to was anything to go by. 

_Scheming little minx_ , Jeremy thought. He couldn’t wait for friday.


End file.
